Angels in Disguise...Joseph

Last Sunday was a wonderful day. Hanging out with my kiddos, just enjoying the time. Do you ever have those days where you live in what I fondly like to call, "real time?" Where the day just seems to go on forever? I think it's because every once in awhile, I am able to slip into the flow of just being in the moment. No thoughts of the future, or past, just appreciating the here and now. I think that's pretty difficult for us to do on a regular basis...at least it is for me! Everytime we looked at the clock, it was astounding (and exciting!) to notice how slow the time was going.



Something else happened that was pretty astounding that day as well.

I try my best to instill in my babes a sense of non-judgement. Another thing we all struggle with. I admit, whole heartedly, that becoming a mama four times over has made me decidedly less so in many ways. And for me, personally, going through a huge transformation in my thinking that occured 3 years ago was really the pinnacle. Until that point, I had a strong sense that being judgemental was 'wrong'...labeling people was 'wrong'...but I had never really pondered just how much our World could be affected by these actions. Once I started to take ownership of how my actions affect, through a chain reaction, the World I live in...well, it really does make you take a look at life in a different way. I only wish I'd know this all since the beginning of my adventure in parenting...but I'm doing my best to make up for it!

Enter Joseph.

The boys were playing Football outside on the front lawn. I was down doing some laundry when Gabe came and yelled at me that there was a man outside wanting to speak with me. I came upstairs, and truly wasn't expecting to see what I saw: a 60'ish year old, small'ish man dressed in his Army fatigues. Obviously inebbriated. Obviously had lived a hard life. Someone the "old me" would have found difficult to look at. He asked if I had a cigarette, to which I replied I was sorry, that I didn't smoke. He asked me if my husband had one, and I said no, he didn't smoke, either. I then asked if there was anything I could do for him, anything he needed. The Old Me probably would've hustled my kids inside and locked the door, hoping for the guy to go bug someone else. (Did I mention my hubby was gone, hunting? So my poor oldest child was FREAKING out...even though she should know me better...) He said he could use some change, so I went to get him some. (It's one of my philosophys that I always try to live by, especially in front of my children...always give...never judge where that money is going...). When I handed it to him, he asked what he could do for me and our family. I told him a prayer would be so nice, and he said, "You got it!" And then he proceeded to chat my ear off! It was quite a lively conversation...all over the place. He brought up children a lot, as he gazed at my boys playing football. "You know, I served this country, ma'am...to protect these little children. Children are the most important thing, you know, ma'am...they're all that matter. And we have to take good care of them. I can tell you take good care of yours. I have kids, too. My boys served in the Army, too. Just like me." (Here, wistful look in his eyes...faraway, remembering...bit teary). On and on the conversation went. Amelia happened out to observe. Olivia was inside, poised with the phone, ready to dial 911. When I went in to get the money, I told her, "Hey, Olivia, I'm always talking to you about Angels in Disguise. This guy could be one! It's important to not judge...this is an opportunity!" (She could care less...she was pretty worried...so much for my training...!)

Eventually, he introduced himself...Joseph. I told Olivia later, what more of a message did she need that she needed to look at herself and her own judgement? Joseph: the ultimate example of non -judgement and trust in God when Mary came to him, pregnant...unmarried...

(She still didn't care...to wrapped up in her fear...I know it's an easy place to go).



He spoke more of children. At one point, when observing my boys and the football, he started to talk about his 'glory days' playing the sport in High School. He said he was the quarterback, and he spoke about how it felt...how good it felt...to feel his hand connect with the ball. When he started to describe the feeling, he just went into that sort of faraway look again. Spending a moment in sweet bliss. A moment that felt good. Probably pretty far away from his present reality. It broke my heart. But I was so thankful to be in a place where I used to not be...a place where I was able to observe this, and notice it, and have compassion. In that moment, I thanked God. I really did. And I started to pray over this guy.



Well, 25 minutes later, introductions having been made all around, and the above moments of conversation peppered with more inquiries of cigarettes, and pumpkin pie, and much more...and the sun going down, I knew it was time to bring the conversation to a close. I told my boys to come in, and he turned to them and said, "Let's go, boys! Listen to your mama! She's a good one! It's time to go in now! Be good!" Then he turned to me and said, "Thank you, ma'am...I love you, you're a good one. And tell your husband I love him, too!" ("I will, I will...")

I had my boys come over and shake his hand before they went in. They said, "Nice to meet you." And then I extended my hand. I said, "Thank you, Joseph, for your service to our Country. I'm going to pray for you that you are safe tonight, and that you find a warm bed to sleep in."



He grabbed my hand, put it to his lips and kissed it. Then he said, "You know, ma'am, my son gave the ulitimate sacrifice." To which I said, "Ohhh..." (I was at a loss...not sure what to say) And right then he pulled me closer and said, "Look into my eyes...really look." And so I did.



(A few years ago, at a meditation retreat this was an exercise we had to do...turn to a stranger, look into their eyes for 2-3 minutes. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and I believe it's true. I had never done this before, and it was really uncomfortable at first, because this isn't something that we do very often in our culture...but, boy, did that little exercise come in handy at this moment. Thanks, Deepak, for sharing...!)

And so I did. Look deep. For about 5 (long)seconds. He was completely, in that moment, lucid. And he said, "You know what I'm talking about, right?"



And I said I thought so. And he said, "Ok! Well you have a good night! You take care! Bye now!"

We went inside, turned on the porch lights and waited about 5 minutes until he left the porch and headed down the street. Olivia was still ready to call the Police. I told her, "He's done nothing against the law, he was kind and of course, if he does something we'll call." But then I decided to call my helpful neighbor, Traci, down the street. She's dealt with this sort of thing. I was worried about him, and compassion was overflowing. In the end, we did call the Police...only for his own safety. He did end up back on my porch an hour later...right after the Police had told him not to bug anybody. He was pretty out of it. I mean, he asked me for a cigarette every 5 minutes, and then it was like he totally didn't remember me at all when I answered the door. Poor guy.



So only later did it occur to me that this guy's name was Joseph, and he talked about his Son giving the Ultimate Sacrifice. I really thought it was an interesting message. Who knows what it meant? Who knows what I was meant to hear? I know that I was blessed beyond words to have had that experience. I know in my heart of hearts that there are no coincidences and everyone that enters my life is there to teach me something about myself.

Later, when engaged in some teaching moments with the kiddos, I really thanked the Divine for the opportunity, through Joseph, for the learning lessons...especially for my children. That even though someone may be homeless, toothless and drunk, they are still an expression of God, created in his likeness. More than worthy of our love and compassion. That we shouldn't judge why someone might be this way...Olivia was very judgemental of his drunkenness...(God bless my child, she is SOOO who I used to be! Thank you for the reflection and the reminder, Olivia...). It was an opportunity to talk about addiction, and hardships, and the things we come here to learn. But most of all, it was a lesson in compassion and non-judgement. Later, when we said prayers, I said I was most thankful for a warm bed and home, and for being surrounded by people who love me, and are there to hold me and comfort me in my times of sadness. My heart about breaks thinking of someone never receiving a loving, long, hug when they really need it most.



Most everyone who hears this story laughs. They think it's funny to imagine a drunk veteran on my lawn...can you imagine?! (There was, admittedly, some definite humor in the situation...my bff couldn't get over the image of me gazing into a homeless vet's eyes just after he kissed my hand...) And, it was kind of funny when my 7 year old decided to share in class about the Drunk Guy on his lawn...without sharing the life lessons we all received! (Um...Gabe? You might be hurting your chances for playdates, buddy...) And just so you all know, this is NOT a common occurance.



Though...I sort of wish it was. I welcome the lessons to be learned. I welcome a chance to look deep within myself at those areas in which I could improve. And I don't mind a chance to hear, "You're a good one..." from an Angel in Disguise.