Just bee happy

Isn't it funny, how you can be going along in life, practicing to be your highest self, and something...or someone...comes along to really challenge you?  To make you *truly* put into practice what you know you're supposed to be doing or how you're supposed to be acting?

And how sometimes, that person or situation shows up at precisely a time when you need it most?

I saunter through life a pretty gracious person.  Due to circumstances several years ago, it was forced upon me to choose who I truly wanted to be.  I mean, really think about it, really face the music.  Most people don't get that chance in life.  And I really, truly am grateful I did.

So it's interesting to me when a 'reminder' from that time in my life comes along and challenges me all over again.  I find it really intriguing that the bigger part of me is fine, in fact, almost non-reactive about the reminder.  But then there's this little *worldly*part of me that goes, "No, you SHOULD be *angry*sad*whatever* when put in this situation.  You SHOULD re-live the drama, and make the person next to you re-live the drama, and you SHOULD definitely NOT let it go!" I definitely don't want to believe that the Universe orchestrated it, or that it's showing up 'for a reason.'

But...alas...I know better.  I know that there are no coincidences.  I know that everything and everyone that shows up in our lives is there for a reason...and that reason is to learn, grow, know the essence of God.

Which is what makes it interesting to me. 

We are not dictated by our experiences, we are dictated by our responses.  We get to choose to be happy.  We get to choose how we respond.  And that's really pretty cool.  This self realization could change the world, if only we could take ourselves out of the center of our own Universes. 

Meh.  Now I'm waxing philosophical.

Go for it!  Just be happy!  Make the choice to just be happy!

I'm off to look in a mirror and say this to myself.

love, C

I (mostly) love Mondays!

What are Monday's like for you?

For me, Monday is the day to re-group my family.  I do the master calendar, the menu for the week, the grocery list.  I tackle the pile of laundry, get the house in order and make my to-do list for the week.  I coordinate schedules, driving schedules, school projects and Dr. Appointments. Somewhere in there I throw in about a million other tasks, but the main focus is getting us all set for the week ahead!

So, when my children have a Monday off, it throws ME off.

And it happened twice in January...the last two.

Needless to say, I am SUPER excited about getting a Monday back! Tuesdays just aren't the same. I can't quite get my poop in a group on a Tuesday.  I mean, we manage.  I do it all as I would a Monday, but it's just not with the same energy and enthusiasm...and it means what's supposed to get done on a Tuesday...doesn't.

Welcome back, Monday!

Happy 2012!

Welcome to a New Year...

I just love the rejuvenation this time of year can bring.  I also enjoy September as a time to get back to goal setting and restructuring, but with 4 growing kiddos, it doesn't happen as well as it used to!  Fall is SUCH a busy time when you have a 14, 12, 10 and 7 year old.  And it always seems that there is a bunch more going on.  Add that to trying to get back in the groove from a summer mentality, and you have a recipe for not-so-much-success!

So, onto January.

Honestly, I think I've waited for this all Fall.

I plan on 2012 to bring SO MANY GOOD...no...GREAT things to me! 

I'm fairly ambitous in my goal setting this year.  I'm trying to be more specific about each of them.  I read somewhere that it's not enough to just say you're going to lose weight, or exercise more...that you have to tell yourself how much, and how, etc...to really be successful.

Yes, these are both on my list!  Having lost 40 last Winter, (and then gaining about 10 of it back all Summer and Fall) I can be proud...but I have about 30 to go...and I will do it!

I plan to be letting go of some long needed to let go of things.  Say "no" more.  Say "yes" less.

After experiencing yet another less-than-fulfilling holiday season because of so many committments...I'm ready to get back to basics.

What/Who really matters most.

Activities that make me happy.

Making time in my life to do the 'little extras' I used to do for my family instead of letting them fall into the "maybe-if-I-have-time-after-I-do-this-other-stuff" pile.  There was WAY too much of that this Fall!

In the end, I do believe it's so important to contribute to my children's school, and to various civic organizations.  But not at the detriment of my family.  It is not possible for me to do it all...and do it all well.  This year, I'm going to choose to do fewer things...and do them well...and choose to do those things that make me smile in my heart. 

I realized this past weekend that it is easy to say that an activity I'm doing for the school 'only takes 12 or so volunteer hours,' but in actuality, it is always on my brain...therefore, it takes countless hours from me!  And it muddles and clouds and contributes to a long list of muddling and clouding that is filled with things that I don't love, love, love to do!

For someone like me, it takes baby steps.  Baby steps are a theme in my life.  I've been talking and taking various baby steps for the past few years now. 2012 is year for me to let go of my security blankets and step into my life as I want to be living it! 

My girls gave me this for Christmas:

I think it's true.

And I'm inspired by what Oprah has to say about Stepping into the Light and reconnecting with what makes you feel happy and makes you feel good.


http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Oprah-on-the-Power-of-Intention-Oprahs-Goals-for-2012


May you feel powerful and inspired in 2012!

Sunday, Sunday, so goooood to-ooo meeee...

Can I just say...It's absolutely GORGEOUS here today?!  So exciting!  The air smells amazing and it makes one want to get outside and dig in the dirt...(someone that's not me...LOL)...but I still enjoy the beauty of the weather!  I'm so ready for summer, and can't wait to have the kids home!

Our hardwood floors get refinished in the Dining Room tomorrow.  Because of the water damage and settling from the flood in the kitchen, there is much patching and matching to be done...so, we cleared out the room today, saying goodbye to the buffet and hutches we were so proud to buy when we bought our first home 13 years ago.  In their place will go 2 built in buffets on either side of the pocket doors that will match the kitchen cabinetry; a project I've always dreamed about and am now going to see happen!  The kitchen itself is plugging along.  The countertop guy will be here tomorrow to template, and then we'll be 3 weeks down the road before the countertops go in.  Then the rest of the cabinets and appliances can make an appearance.  This has been a long journey!  In fact, a friend the other day referred to it as "epic."  And boy, is she right!  I should've kept a journal!  It will all be very worth it in the end.  In fact, I'm kind of glad to not be going back to the dinner routine while school is still in session; too difficult to get back into the swing of things.  However, I'll probably only get to just move into the new space when I'll leave for my month back East!  Oh well...still very worth it!

Olivia graduates from 8th grade this week.  There's a bucket o' committments built around that...dinners, dance, fun day at Fairmont Hot Springs, lunches, hair/nail appointments, pictures, decorating the facility, parent's dinner out, teacher letters/gifts...not to mention history project presentations, 3rd grade invention project, Kindergarten field trip and graduation, book signing, out of town visitors, appointments, and workouts, too!  It's going to be a busy, busy week...and to top it all off, we'll leave for Spokane on Saturday to go see "Wicked!"  **whew!**  Deep, deep breaths...

My workouts cannot give, because I have 3 weeks until my 40th, and I've committed to working out every single day until then to see how it really affects my body.  I'll be honest.  Throughout this whole weight loss, I don't think there is a week that I've done more than 4 workouts!  And I have about 3 more lbs to go before I hit 40lbs off!  If I can do that, and maybe a bit more, I'll be thrilled...and so, I really want to see how doing my longer runs every single day will pay off.  I'll keep you posted!

Until then, enjoy the bounty of Spring, and Summer!

30!!!

I'm SOO excited!  Last Friday I hit the big 3-0!  I know, I know...you thought I was older...juuuuuuust kidding!  What I did was hit the big 30 lbs off...finally...broke through the plateau and hit it!  Who knew I just had to exercise more?  ;-)  I battened down the hatches, reeled in the diet, kicked up the exercise, and BAM!  Here I am.

So, now I really do get to order my 1/2 way there reward.  I had started pondering what I would get several weeks back when it looked like it was right around the corner.  Took a bit longer than I thought it would.

 Oh well!  I'm happy!  Especially happy because I also know, that even though I wasn't dropping on the scale, I was dropping in inches.  About a month ago I tried on some very coveted Banana Republic black trousers that I haven't been able to wear in about 3 years.  They were tight, barely buttonable, and because of that, gave me a horrible looking pooch (ya know what I'm talking about)...plus, they were very tight in the thighs and rear end.  Definitely un-wearable, even with a longer top.  Soooooooo...I tried them on Thursday because I started going through all of my clothes and guess what?!  Yup! They slid right on, and I could even grasp fabric in the thighs...nice and roomy!  YIPPEE!  Even though that scale had barely budged, I went down in size...Exercise really does work!  (Duh...)

So now, onto ordering my special treat.  It's something Springy-feeling, something fashionable that will always fit no matter my size.  And definitely something I would never just get for myself, so it feels a little luxurious.  And it's not something for the kitchen, tho...I also have to order a looooooooooooong list of stuff for that project, which is going to be a serious chunk of change.

My largest-you-can-buy Whitehaus Fireclay Double Bowl Farmhouse Sink is going to ROCK!  It's definitely fashionable, and luxurious...but it's season-less...

Makes me **smile** just thinking about it...

Painting is the FUN part!

I spent the day with DH (dear husband) doing some more prep work on the walls in my son's bedroom.  The walls were previously wallpapered, and now are in some rough shape!  So it's taking a bit of time to ready them for the paint.  Not the best way to spend a day, necessarily, but...it was fun to be doing some work on the house again!  It's been awhile.  We're fortunate to be able to hire a lot of it out.  But for years we did most all of it ourselves, and it was fun to re-visit those times!  In fact, there is a certain joy in looking back at our early years, how little we had to work with, and how much fun it was to be efficient with what we had.  I look back at the old pictures, and remember how much I labored in our first house, painting, repairing, decorating...now, I don't have as much time, having 4 kiddos and a world of busy-ness!  Sometimes keeping up with everything that needs to get done around here seems like a chore.  I look back on our 10 years in the house and am amazed at how much we've accomplished.  Sometimes, I look at the projects I've done, and I can't believe I did them!  I used to be MUCH more ambitious...!

I have a friend down the street who reminds me A LOT of the younger me.  She has talent for decorating, and making unusual use of different items, and enjoying the thrill of the hunt: finding a great deal at a garage sale, or Goodwill, and making it her own...I do miss those days...I really have no use for them anymore, because I've reached the point where I don't need to acquire any more stuff.  And I have the money to buy things already done.  Which is where I always strove to be!  I'm in my dream house, with the money to fix it up, and the money to furnish it...incredibly blessed!  But I love looking back at the days when my creativity really blossomed, and most everything I used had my own mark on it.  Sewing curtains, recovering chairs, painting furniture...yup, it was fun!  I hope my own kids get to have fun doing the same thing someday.

So, off to sand down the walls...and to relish the good feelings that come from doing the work yourself!

YUMMY DELICIOUSNESS!

I think I did it!  I think I did it!  The scale FINALLY budged today...I may have broken the plateau.  I kicked up my workouts last week, have reigned the diet back in and voila! Having to break through a plateau is frustrating and challenging, and so I really am hopeful that I DID IT! 

The meat fast is going well.  No cravings for it at all.  I am loving my new favorite lunch, which I am alternating every other day or meal with a Spring Mix/Spinach Salad and canned salmon.  Salmon can rev the metabolism, or so says Dr. Nicholas Perricone, and I swear it's true! When I'm eating it regularly, my body runs hot.  Plus, my skin looks amazing, so that's a plus!  A squeeze of lemon, topped with ground pepper and a bit of salt, then tossed with the greens...what you have there is a very Mediterranean tasting, light lunch!  MMMMMM!  But look now, I digressed.  The original lunch I was talking about is this:

 YUMMY DELICIOUSNESS!

It's a whole wheat sandwich thin, split in 1/2 and toasted, then topped with some Laughing Cow cheese, roasted vegetables (red and yellow bell peppers, eggplant, zucchini, red onions, garlic, olive oil) and ground pepper and salt.  SO satisfying, and absolutely one of the best things I've ever tasted.  I'm using Macaroni Grill's roasted vegetables for now, until I get a kitchen again.

Which brings me to...

We now have the shingles on the roof, and the insulation going in!  Woo Hoo! It's about time, huh?

The weather is beautiful, and I hope it keeps up, because there is A LOT of work to get done!

Off for some yummy deliciousness and to do a few errands before picking up the kids and starting the madness!  (You mommies know what I'm talking about)!

C

I've got Spring in my step

The sun is shining, the mid 40's weather is here for awhile...I know we will get more snow, but I'm willing to bet the frigid cold weather is gone! The birds are singin' and for the first time in months, the street in front of my house is free from ice and ruts!  Woo Hoo! 

It inspired me to push myself in my workout today.  I've thought about doing a 1/2 marathon to celebrate in my 40th year, but the thought of physically pushing myself...well...it's just something I've never done.  So, thought I would try it this morning.  Usually, I alternate walking and running every 5 minutes for about 40 minutes.  I end up going about 3miles.  Today, I ran 2 of the 3 miles straight, and am proud of that accomplishment!  A decision remains.  There are 2 half marathons in the state in September; might be fun to work towards that goal.

So, we did it.  I had the kids stand in a circle with me this morning, put their hand on the shoulder of the person next to them, and we all said a blessing for each other.  This first time, I lead them in it, and they had those goofy smiles that say they think their mom is half nuts, but they really like that I make them do these sorts of things.  :-)  And they all leaned in for their blessing before leaving the car.  I'm proud of myself for taking these steps, albeit small ones, to show my love for them in part by blessing them.  I have felt lately that between these four it seems to be so easy to launch into yelling, fighting, mean words, etc...when someone is unhappy or has hurt feelings.  So!  I hope this helps.  I believe it will!  Plus, it is so important to express our spirituality in the good times, as well as the bad. 

I decided to go meatless for Lent, too!  Let me tell ya, Gabe had some leftover prime rib last night for dinner, and I was so tempted!  I thought, 'One little bite doesn't count' and almost reached for one, and then I was like, 'Nope, that's what this is all about!'  I will be interested to see how my body responds.  I like the idea of a mostly plant based diet, anyway, and would love to always be that way. But man, I do love my prime rib! 

Today I am finishing taking the wallpaper off the walls in Gabe's room.  Tomorrow, we will patch and ready for painting!  He's so excited. 

The Girls have game night at the school tonight for middle school...love that school! 

And I'm just SO thankful Friday is here!  I'm ready to pull out the spring decorations this weekend! Brighten, lighten, and feel re-newed. 

Spring is in air, on my mind, and in my step!  Yay!

The Sacrificial Buffalo Burger

When I grew up, the Lenten season was all about sacrifice.  Every day we fasted, which meant meat only once a day, and small meals.  Our family didn't eat meat on Fridays year round already, but Fridays during Lent were a treat, because after doing the Stations of the Cross, we generally got to go out for dinner, usually to Burger King for a fish sandwich, or to Skippers, for fish and chips! We also went to church and did devotions on Wednesdays during Lent, and also on Sunday nights.  It was a lot of church!  :-)

We also individually each gave up something.  Sometimes, we did it as a family.  One year, we gave up Television, and it didn't reappear for several years!  Most of the time I gave up candy, or chocolate...typical kid things to 'sacrifice.'

As I entered Adulthood, I really took on the notion that I didn't like the 'giving up' idea, but instead, adding something in.  Most of the time it was adding in more prayer.  Sometimes adding in more vegetables.  (Hah!) 

This year, I've decided that giving something up really does have some substance.  Perhaps it's a popular thing to do because it really works.  In fact, I think that it really does make more sense that in giving something up, you are challenged to redirect your thoughts more often! And isn't that part of what Lent is all about?  Returning our thoughts to God?

As a family, we're giving up soda.  There has been far too much soda consumption going on with the absence of a kitchen and more eating out.  It used to be a treat, but it's become the norm, only because we are in restaurants more, which also used to be a treat, but has become the norm!  (Will be soo nice to have a kitchen again)! I also talked to the kiddos on the way to school this morning about spending a few minutes in family prayer before we head out the door in the morning. 
I started doing individual blessings upon each of them in the morning, right before they get out of the car to go into the school, about a month ago.  Yesterday, they were in a hurry and I almost forgot, but Rafe stuck his head in front of me and said, "God bless you, Mama!"  And it reminded me!  (So stinkin' cute, that one)!

I am giving up using bad words when I'm angry.  Not terrible about it, but need to be better.  Especially when I hear my sweet child say something when she's angry that doesn't make me particularly pround :)
Whoops!

I'm also giving up meat.  Turning to a more vegetarian diet, which is much easier with the sun shining and spring in the air, by the way! This was a decision I normally would've taken more time with, but I decided, what the heck?  I eat non-meat meals quite often, anyway.  It's not a big deal.  I've been inspired by others I know who are doing similar things...and I'm excited to see how my body will respond!  Giving up my weekly buffalo burger at Bert and Ernies will be a sacrifice, no doubt.

I have also been inspired by several people who are taking the time to write letters for each of the 40 days to someone in their life that has made a difference.  I'm giving serious thought to that one, but need to decide today.  I love the idea!

And what am I adding in? 

Daily mediation and a better prayer practice!  Duh~!

Growing pangs

For me.  The Mama.  Who always knew that her children would grow up.  Who has always shed easy tears about that fact.  Who takes pleasure in watching them grow, but saddens at the thought.  Who has very much learned in the past few years what the term 'bittersweet' means in regard to this subject! 

For the past 9 years, I've watched my oldest grow in an enviornment that has been sweet, and rewarding.  For a majority of those years, and days, and hours they hold, I've had the privilege of sending her off to our beloved Catholic school, where we have found a village that is so amazing and wonderful.  And I was so fortunate to see, yet again, the fruit of the education we chose for her.

Today she was initiated, so to speak, and given special privilege within our church...she was one of several 8th graders that placed ashes onto foreheads during the service today.  From this day on, she will also be a Eucharistic Minister, both at the school and at the church!  A rite of passage. 

I hadn't expected it today...I had sort of forgotten. 

And then, I saw her up there, preparing.

And of course, all I could see was my little girl, big blue eyes, round cheeked and dimpled...taking part in her first mass all those years ago in First Grade.  Probably struggling to read her lines a bit, beaming ear to ear about the fact that she was finally able, at that time, to take on a 'big kid' privilege. 

Yup, I cried.  Well...I did my best to let the tears silently come.  Had to squeeze my knees together, clasp my hands really hard, and bite my lip.  (So as not to have an 'ugly cry')  ;-)
(I knew this was coming...there will be lots of tears for the next few months during all of the graduation ceremonies, retreats, etc!)

Her eyes met mine, and I could read it all in them.  Sometimes she gives a half smile, and there's something about her look that says, "O no, hear she goes again...she's gonna cry...STOP mom!"  But not today.  There was a bit of compassion, a knowing that this was coming, and understanding and OK-ness.  Still a 1/2 smile!

I am thankful, so thankful, that this school has given her such confidence and pride.  I have always said that having the little ones see the big ones leading mass, and singing, and speaking helps so much with the confidence to be in front of a crowd.  These children have no problem being placed in front of a church full, or a gym full, and doing their thing.  It's really an amazing gift.

Next year, she'll be off to a public high school, my alma mater.  I'm thrilled for her to be spreading her wings and trying something different.  She is SO ready for this step! But after today, I had a sense of sadness that she'll be leaving this village behind.  No more saying grace with her whole class.  No more assemblies on Monday mornings, praying and singing blessings over people.  No more weekly mass in the little church that has seen her grow up, sitting with a younger prayer partner.

Now, she'll get to see just where that foundation will take her.  Spread her wings.  Fly.

I'm so excited for her!  It will be so fun for her!

But I'm a  little sad, too.

Bittersweet.

Happy New Year!

Hah!  It's only what...March??  Yes...that little sign posted on my monitor has yet to be very helpful in getting me to blog every day...

But I can't really say too much has happened. 

My busy, charmed life...truckin' along, as always!  We've been crazy with organized sports, and ski weekends at the cabin.  Travel basketball for Amelia has been an interesting, new thing for us!  We've enjoyed it, gotta say!

Work continues on the kitchen.  I can't remember if I've blogged or not that starting on October, 15th or thereabouts, we've been without a kitchen.  Due to a flood...and nearly 9 months of negotiations with Insurance...then a contractor not ready to really start...yes, it's been that long!  And it's been relatively easy, but I'm sick and tired of being displaced.  It's tough cooking in the laundry room!  So, there's been A LOT of eating out...A LOT! 

But I'm proud to say I've lost about 27 lbs, even with all of that eating out...

My 40th is comin' at me like a freight train on June 11th.  And I'm bound and determined to have all of my baby weight (hahaha) off by then.  The baby will be 7 on June 4th.  I think it's time! :o)  So...about 33 more to go and I'll be there.  A new body, and hopefully, a new kitchen for birthday gifts!  I'm SOOO looking forward to both of those things! 

It's going to be a great year!  I've been trying to figure out a 'bucket list' of things I want to accomplish in my 40th year, but then I realized that technically, I'm in my 40th year right now, and after my birthday, I'll be in my 41st year.  Does that matter?  I guess not. 

Top of the list is losing my weight.

Next was some surgery to remedy a saggy tummy and the big hoo ha's...but both seem to be getting taken care of with the weight loss...so I'll wait on that until the weight is all gone to see what I look like at that point. 

3rd...a month in my beloved Nantucket...happening this summer!  Yippee!  I can't WAIT to take the kiddos there!  I get some time at the beginning with girlfriends, then Tony and the kiddos will join me for the rest of the time.

4th...Jewelry business up and going...I recently decided to reintroduce actual work days into my calendar.  I did this last year, and it worked out great...until I got sidelined with other responsibilities...and this kitchen thing...which has had tendencies to throw everything and everyone off their game in this house!  But...I am recommitted.  2011 IS the year! 

There's so much more...I'll get to it later...

Suffice to say I trust I am on the right path...So happy to be exactly where I am, and thrilled to know that as I look back over the past 5 years...life has unfolded in a way that I always dreamed it would...  It's great to have an understanding about my place in the Universe, to have a light heart and spirit, to no longer be sleep walking through my life, to be unattached to outcomes, to not have to be right all the time anymore (although my children challenge me on this one often)!...

Aging...so much, so good about it!  Bring it on!

Thankful

Another fabulous turkey day with the extended family.

I gained 2 pounds on the scale this morning, and have no idea how.  I'm totally serious!  I was a good girl yesterday...loaded up on a ton of raw veggies, and very little of the feast (my husband was behind me in line and thought I was dishing up one of the boys' plates)...just a sliver of pumpkin pie.  I did up my workout yesterday and my legs are killing me, so maybe my muscles decided to hold onto 2 lbs of water?? Don't know, and am trying not to care, because I KNOW I was good in all areas yesterday...I mean, I worked out on Thanksgiving Day!

My oldest daughter's post on FB this morning was precious, and perhaps very much along the lines of what I would say.  Thankful for a long list of blessings, including her fantastic family, beautiful friends, a fun day with family, a yummy feast...and the following, which really impressed me most...those who are in our lives to teach us lessons, and the ability to 'feel free to be me'...which was so awesome of her to say.  Thanks, Miss O~!  Pretty amazing stuff to say from a 13 year old...

I'd like to thank the Marketing Gods (MG) for trying to rope my tweens into the "Black Friday Farce" this year! 

We were in Target a few days ago, and daughter Amelia spotted a sweater and said, "But I'll wait 'til Black Friday, because it will be on sale."  (Let me say, she has never in her short life, seen her mama take part of the debacle!) Led us into a great discussion about how that's not typically how it works, and everything you (think) you want will STILL BE ON SALE until Christmas!~  and available!  Plus...that sweater probably won't even be on sale.
Aside from the 4 washing machines, 10 TV's, and "limited" stack of DVD/Blue Ray players that a chosen few will get, the MG would have you believe that you will be missing out on some great deal that will actually still be there next Monday.  The one good ad I did see was from Bed, Bath and Beyond...20% off your entire purchase between 5 and 10 a.m.  and I gotta admit, that's pretty awesome.  Don't need anything from there...but it was good.  Also, Michaels is doing it, as well...and I may swing by there, because all Fall decor is 90% off, and with another 25% off...wow...and It would be great to stock the coiffers of our Fall Fundraiser Decorating Stash for so little money.  IF there's anything left!  Which I imagine there will be, because there was still a lot there last week, and most everyone has moved onto Christmas!

When I was younger, we did venture out on Black Friday...for lunch, and a bit of shopping.  An experience to be had, for sure.  More about hanging out with my sisters home from college, looking at decorations...we didn't have the money or the inclination to do a ton of shopping.  But generally, we just had fun and enjoyed the crowds and the holiday spirit.  Maybe that's something I can see happening with my girls as they get older.  But NEVER the crazy, get up in the middle of the night, push and shove insanity. 
As an adult with a family, I've always started the decorating for Christmas on this day...and finished up by Sunday.  This year, I started Tuesday because I'm leaving tomorrow for a birthday celebration...but I didn't get far...I'll try to today, along with getting my family ready for me to be gone! My to-do list is long.  Better go get at it so we can enjoy our day!

Happy Thanksgiving weekend! 

thankful...

but first...what a crackup Rafe is...
I hopped out of the car to run in and get some dinner to take to Olivia at play practice...I told the boys I'd be right back...and it was pretty quick!  When I got back in the car, Rafe goes, "Mom~!  You said you were gonna be pretty quick and you really WERE pretty quick!"  Apparently, he's catching onto the fact that "Just a minute" or "Just a sec" doesn't really mean either of those things!

Tragic week here in my town.  Three young boys lost both their parents in a very sad situation.  I haven't been able to stop thinking about them.  What must be going through their heads? What would it be like to have both of your parents ripped from you like that?  Thinking that when your Mom cooked you dinner that night, it was the last time she would, but you didn't know it would be, or you would've enjoyed it a lot more. 
Or realizing that when your Dad took you out to shoot some hoops every day it just seemed so routine at the time, but now you'll never get to do it again...and you want to.  And you're left without at least one parent to console you through the loss of the other, left without the two people who knew you best and loved you most.

I must, must remember to be more thankful at all times, in every moment.  And take comfort in the seemingly mundane actions I do every day for my kiddos.  Wag more, Bark Less...in my own family.

xo

for the love of pete...

I have no idea where that saying came from, but there it is!  Again...3 months from last post!  Holy moly...ah well, I'll take it in stride!

Life is busy with 4 kiddos and lots of activities!  We jumped right into Fall with it all...gets tougher as they get older...I'd always heard it and never quite believed it, but it's true!  Another friend said to me the other day that when the kidlets are little, your busy-ness is within your home...all right there.  As they get older, the busy-ness is across town, spread far and wide...in the car, here and there, dinner on the go (I swore up and down i'd never be THAT mom or THAT family) crazy busy.  Sometimes doing homework well into bedtimes, and having absolutely no down time.  Oh well!  That's life with kids!  When I start to wish for another, I spend about a minute in that lala land, and then come back to reality.  Life with a baby is difficult enough, let alone doing it with 4 older kiddos and attending to their needs!

On top of it, I had two events within a week of each other the end of September and beginning of October...one the big fundraiser for our school, and the other, a 40th anniversary celebration for Montana State Special Olympics.  Both were successful, and fun.  I of course poured much more into our school, as did the whole team of spectacular women, and we netted more than ever!  First year was 19,000...second year was 29,000...and this year...42,000!  CRAZY proud of ourselves!  Believe me...we need it...our tuition doesn't nearly cover what the cost is to educate our children, so we do these things to make up for it.  God blessed us greatly!  The event gets better every year...and I'm not saying that because I'm biased!

Now, I'm settling into being home all alone...Rafe is in Full Day, now...loving every minute of it.  His teacher says she loves having him in class because he is a great listener and never needs to be told twice...and because he is a leader in the class, other kiddos look up to him, and copy his behavior! What a nice thing to hear about him...our little clown at home is full of responsibility at school...that's pretty cool!  I'm finding out there is a lot of drawing happening in Full Day Kindergarten.  He did 1/2 day last year, and that teacher really had to keep them on task...when the kids enter 1st grade, the teacher cannot tell the difference between the 1/2 day and full day...(we sent him onto full day because he's a June baby) soo...lots of drawings coming home!  Lots of play time, too!  And that's OK.  Ah, yeah...so, I miss him...I was wondering what it would be like when the fundraisers were over and life settled down...

And then our kitchen got torn down last week!  So organizing that has kept me busy!  Setting up a new kitchen in the basement was not what I wanted to spend time doing, so it took me a good week to get it done.  Now I'm doing cooking right next to the washing machine...which isn't ideal...but I WILL NOT COMPLAIN as I am getting a new kitchen out of the dealio, and insurance is helping with a great deal of it.  Still, it isn't what I would've chosen to do at this time.  Oh well.  I WILL NOT COMPLAIN!  :-)

buh bye!

LOL!

Yesterday, Rafe said to me, "Are you going to get a job soon?"  When he saw my look, he followed it up with, "...because I'm going to be at school all day now, are you going to get a job?"

Gabe...older, wiser brother...(or maybe, poor kid, has heard me complain enough!) "She DOES have a job!  Cooking, doing laundry and cleaning are part of her job!"  And then, a bit quieter, with a half grin, "Geeeeeeez, Rafe!"

Just cracked me up!

summer days

My favorite days of summer (now few and far between with 4 busy kiddos) are the days when we all just get to hang out.  No where to be.  No where to go.  No agenda.  Everyone relaxed.

Unfortunately, it just really doesn't happen anymore.  We might get a day here or there, but with nearly every week taken up with a camp for one of the kiddos, it just kind of throws off the schedule.  Well, there's really no schedule.  We did have several blissful years of "No School!  Now it's Summer!  Time to do NOTHING!"  i.e. lovely routines of relaxing mornings, segueing into having time together doing a craft, picnic-ing in the park every day for lunch, home for nappies, up for playtime and a lemonade stand, wait for daddy to get home...bbq-ing and just sitting on the front porch watching and playing with the kids.  Maybe a playdate here or there. 

For years I would put up a "Summer Calendar" with something we were going to do every day.  Maybe it was a special treat to make, or a craft to work on.  We just lived for summer.

I guess we still -sort of- do.  It's nice to have a break from homework and early mornings and being on the go-go-go.  It just seems that the line is not so clear anymore between School time and Summer break.  Last week was our first full week home of summer yet!  First week out...traveled to graduations.  Second week...traveled to Billings.  Third week...my sister came home with her family, and we went to the mountains.  Fourth week...went to our family reunion in Lewistown.  Fifth week...traveled to Glasgow for my Aunt Helen's funeral...and last week...settled into being home and around each other and being "bored!"  (The kiddos...NOT ME!) Now we have 2 1/2 weeks home before we go on vacation.  Not quite enough time to really get into a summer routine.  (BTW, we're filled up with camps, anyhow...)  And when we get back...only 10 days until school starts.

Wah...makes me want to cry.

Because I guess even though it's not as much downtime as we used to have, I still would rather have Summer than School! 

Day 2 of my Cleanse

Hubby and I decided to do a cleanse this week...

The original intent was to do a water fast yesterday...and move onto fruits and veggies for the rest of the week.  Well...he was starving by last night, so he went onto fruits/veggies today...I was feeling so good, I decided to continue the water/tea fast through today...

Why did we do this, you might ask?  I've always been a firm believer in taking a break from our need to eat...cleanse the body...reboot, so to speak.  But...haven't done it since long, long ago.   Well, actually, I had a 12 day fast imposed on me 4 years ago, for reasons I won't go into...I was emotionally drained, and things came to a head...and I just didn't touch a bite for 12 days.  (I was surprised not to have had one "blood sugar" issue, because usually, I miss a feeding and I'm screaming "My blood sugar is dropping!  AAACK!")
What I came to discover is when we are not focused on food, but on something else that is filling our thoughts and emotional selves...food just doesn't matter.  I screwed up and told myself that I must not eat in times of extreme emotional duress, having never experienced what I was experiencing...and found out that just wasn't true 3 months later when another crisis came along!  (And I slowly gained back the 20 pounds I had lost telling myself "I deserved it." That crisis, however, didn't consume me as the first had.)  Anyhow...my point is...I have enough extra weight on my body to gestate several very healthy babies should I want too.  Living without food isn't going to kill me anytime soon.

Meanwhile, I feel good...not hungry...and it's actually enjoyable not to have to think about what I want/need/have to eat.  I know it probably sounds weird.  But I think I will continue with it tomorrow, as well...then ease back into eating with fruits and vegetables for the rest of the week.  Then...continue on a mostly plant based diet for awhile.  I'm not totally sure about the dairy thing quite yet...I love cheese way too much, I think, to give it up completely.  Meat will always be an option for me, as well as fish. 
I'm not an extremist, y'all!  :-)

I am thinking about doing a 30 day juice fast the month of September.

Considering that is the month we break ground on the new kitchen and also the month my baby goes to school full time...I may be filling my face with french fries and full-fat lattes, instead...

But I think not!  I AM going to get into a better place healthwise this summer...I AM, I AM!

Tender hearted me

I'm feeling very tender hearted today. 

Actually, I have been for a bit over several days, now.

My lovely Aunt Helen passed away suddenly last Saturday, July 3rd.   Though she was 83 years old, it's still difficult to say good-bye to someone so well loved, so generous, so kind...I know her children and grandchildren are grieving terribly.  How fortunate for them to have had someone like that in their lives.  For me, I had remembered always feeling special in her presence.  Not a surprise then to find out that everyone that spoke at her vigil service and funeral shared the same sentiments!  I The stories were wonderful.  Seeing my cousins that I rarely see was precious to me, though it was a time of sadness.  An amazing gift was having just reconnected with several of them in Southern California on our trip to Disney back in December.  Aunt Helen, three of her children, and 3 of her grandchildren met us at Knott's berry farm.  The young cousins connected instantaneously; it was a joy to witness!  Aunt Helen was a trooper following us all around the park, determined to not miss out on seeing her grandkids and great neices and nephews making a connection.  In fact, several times I turned to speak to her and noticed tears in her eyes...she was so genuinely thrilled for us all to be together.  She really cherished family.  I told my husband on the way home yesterday that it truly was amazing that we were able to make those connections several months ago...making showing up and grieving together on Thursday so much easier...I know she was looking at us, from wherever she is, smiling, seeing us all together.  I think she might have smiled, too, at the funeral mass...Rafe is generally pretty active at church...behaving, but rarely sitting still!  I really didn't have the energy, though, at this time, so I leaned over to him, and he heard the tears in my voice and saw them in my eyes.  And I very sincerely asked if he would please, please be good, because I was saying goodbye to my very special Aunt.  And you know what?  He didn't move a muscle, except to be right near me the whole time.  It was darling.)

Then yesterday, before we left Glasgow, we stopped in to see my 97 year old Grandmother.  She is in pretty good shape, physically, but has quite severe dementia...which means it's been several years since she's recognized us.  When we got there, she was napping on a sofa in the foyer...and had been for hours.  Finally a nurse roused her.  I knew she would be thrilled to see the kids, and sure enough...she was.  I know it's always awkward for children to go into a nursing home and see older people in various states of physical and mental abilities, but the kiddos were really great.  We had at least 5 rounds of big hugs.  She was quite quiet and didn't say much, but hugged back.  I tried to feed her a bit, but her appetite is really not there.  That coupled with the new development of lethargy is not a great sign, and I think this...along with having just lost my Aunt...made me really weepy and sad.  I was, however, given another precious gift...the time to be alone with her, hold her and cradle her for several minutes, then put her to bed for a nap and hold her hand for awhile.  As I helped her lie down, I said, "I love you, Grandma, so much!" And she said, "I love you so much, too."  This was incredibly sweet to me, because even though she didn't know me right then and there...love was exchanged...and that's such a miracle.  And that's what I told the kids...what matters is that we were able to give her soo much love in a short amount of time.  All that loving energy really matters...whether we think someone knows who we are or not.

I had a good, long sob as we left Glasgow.  And on and off the whole way home.  Just feeling tender hearted, ya know?  Just melancholy.  (Such a Jane Austen, English-y sounding word!)  But it's true.  It's a perfect word for me.

So today, when we went to church, and we sang a song that was sung at my Aunt's funeral, I started to cry...and then I met Henry at the Church Directory photo sign ups.  (There are no coincidences!) He came in to sign up at the computer, and I assisted him.  When I asked him how many were in his party, he said, "Just me.  My wife passed away in October."  And I said, "Well, I'm feeling pretty tender today because I just lost my Aunt, so I might cry."  (smile**) And he started to tell me about her; that she was 87.  That he had spent the last several months of her life next to her in a hospital room as she succombed to Cancer.  That he really missed her.  That he lives in the same house.  That his daughter also went to Holy Spirit School.  Normally, I might have sort of listened and nodded, and offered my smiles and condolences.  But today, I was really present.  And reached out for his hand.  And listened intently.  And offered him a hug.  He squeezed me pretty hard, and said, "You must need a bit of this, too." And I said, "Absolutely!"  Another friend made along the way.

This is one of the miracles of our existence:  To be able to reach out to each other.  In love.  Helping one another on this journey.  If only for a few moments in time.  To fill another's cup with a bit of love and caring is one of life's precious gifts...whether it's for a stranger, or for your grandchildren, or for your neice. 

Maybe that's another reason I'm a bit tender hearted...feeling my cup runneth over this weekend with all the love we so often take for granted day to day.  It's a good reminder to stop and savor those moments.

Maybe this will work! ;-)

are you KIDDING ME? eek! yikes! omg! no way!

What I'm referring to is the fact that I am AGAIN sitting here, writing, disgusted that it's been so long since I've written! What's it going to take, exactly, for me to do this more often than once every 6 months?! I have no idea...and tho I will try my best to not dwell on all of the fun things that could've been written down here, I am sad I've taken so long. I need to get the blog more in my face...can I make it my homepage? I need to figure it out...

Anyhow, somewhere along the way I thought I'd change the name of the blog. I've been pondering it for awhile now...(sort of like the tattoo I really, really want, but am struggling with choosing)...and here it is...

3 chicks..3 chucks...

which, btw, I think could be a really cute name for a store, or a restaurant, etc...

I wanted something catchy...something that says who we are...

3 chicks (myself and the 2 girls)

3 chucks (my 3 boys...I sometimes call them "chuck" for a nickname..."Whatcha doin', Chuck?" Most of the time it's "lovey" but that wouldn't have sounded nearly as cute...plus I call them all "lovey!")

So there you have it! I'm fairly certain there won't be anymore chicks or chucks being added to the bunch, but you never know. I rest easily knowing I can change the name of the blog with a few clicks on the keypad...

gotta be a bit more sure about the tattoo! ;)